


The Lost

by aurorasnights



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: A mention of Klaus/Dave, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Ben Hargreeves Lives, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Gen, Good Sibling Luther Hargreeves, I can't believe I have to use that tag, Mentions of Suicide, Minor Character Death, No Incest, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Reginald hargreeves is a jerk, Suicidal Thoughts, There is no room for Incest in my house
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26705347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurorasnights/pseuds/aurorasnights
Summary: Ben left the academy 13 years ago and never intended on coming back. Unfortunately his siblings had other ideas. (And so did the threat of an apocalypse)//TW: Mentions of Suicide and Suicidal thoughts//
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & The Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	1. In the mind of Reginald Hargreeves

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Welcome to my first fanfic in a while. I'll try to update this weekly, but no promises!

Grace had asked about names for the kids. Reginald wasn’t a fool, he knew that sooner or later the kids would leave the house and if the press ever got wind that the kids didn’t have names, they would disband the academy. So, he allowed Grace to give the kids names. All except number 6. ButDamn Five. He had to give Six a name. He told Grace to name Seven first and then go in number order but she could only give 6 names. But then Five had to go and say he didn’t want a name. The last name went to Six. The boy who didn’t need a name. Number 6 needed to come to terms that his tentacles were a monster, making him in turn a monster. A name would humanize Number 6. And he couldn’t have that. He already had the children’s superhero names lined up for the media and that their numbers were like their code names. Number 1 would be Spaceboy, Number 2, the Kraken; Number 3, The Rumor; Number 4, The Séance; Number 5, The Boy and finally Number 6, The Horror. He needed Six to under his entire control. The Horror was too dangerous otherwise. Medication was easy to use on Seven, but Six seemed impervious to all power surpressing meds. Six was dangerous. And that was without the knowledge of his actual powers. How easy was it to lie to everyone? Six had no interest in exploring his power, most likely due to being terrified of his tentacles. It worked out in Reginald’s favor. Five on the other hand, was exploring too much. The boy was trying to time travel. It was ridiculous. Number Five poured so much time into it, that even Reginald thought it was ridiculous. Five should be focusing on improving his spatial jumps rather than time travel.If Five gained the ability to time travel however, he might be able to see what Reginald has been trying to prevent. Number Five might be able to convince the others to treat number 6 as a monster if he managed to travel to the future. He would discuss the possibility with Five soon. 

………………………………………………………..

This was a failure! Number Five had run off before it was his time. Reginald knew he shouldn’t expect to see him anytime soon. The foolish boy! If only he had waited! Then Reginald didn’t have to concern himself with trying to convince the other children that is was for the best. Six needed to stay under his control. The best way to this was to break him. He needed Six shattered.

……………………………………………………..

The kid was 13 and living on the streets for a couple of months. Reginald saw him hanging around the building where he had his meetings. He was a perfect candidate to break Six. Reginald surveyed the boy who was locked up in a room in the house. Six was having special training today. Reginald smiled coldly.

……………………………………………………………

Six had done it. Crying, screaming and begging, but he had killed that boy. The boy also was screaming and the tentacles had had seemed reluctant to kill. But at the end of the day, it was Six and the boy or just the Boy. And Reginald made it very clear that Six would be punished badly if he didn’t kill the boy. If Reginald knew anything about Six, he would be grieving and angry at himself. Reginald might finally have that boy under control.

……………………………………………………

Of course Six had to pull a Five. The boy ran away like his brother. He was having Grace and Pogo tell the other kids that Ben had committed suicide during the night.He was concerned but Ben would never use his powers again, to avoid exposure from the media. Six was no problem now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos!
> 
> Visit my [Tumblr](https://auroranights.tumblr.com)!


	2. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben left the academy 13 years ago and never intended on coming back. Unfortunately his siblings had other ideas. (And so did the threat of an apocalypse)
> 
> //TW: Mentions of Suicide and Suicidal thoughts//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry this chapter took me so long to publish! Pine Grove is a town I made up that is slightly north of Albany, New York since I believe that the Academy was set in New York City. I've never been to New York City so if I messed something up please let me know! Also, Vanya isn't shown in a positive light at the start, so if you don't like that, please don't read!

**February 26th 2006, 11:00 pm or 23:00, Ben’s Room**

Ben couldn’t get the screams of the boy out of his ears. He was a child, only a few years younger than Ben and his siblings, and Ben had been forced to kill him. The tentacles didn’t want this either. Ben felt the tentacles retreat into their home with only a few centimeters left in his abdomen. They would have retreated all the way but if Reginald found out, he would have hurt him. They were sad, much like Ben. He didn’t want to kill that kid. He was 13.And Ben killed him. And he hated himself. Ben just killed a thirteen year old.He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to kill anymore. Ben never did. Maybe he deserved his title of the Horror. He killed everyone, including children. He needed to leave. Ben couldn’t stay at the Umbrella Academy.

**Saturday March 23rd 2019, 9:00 pm or 21:00, The Pine Grove Library**

Ben was volunteering at the library when he heard the news. He was shelving books and the radio suddenly blared the news that his father had died.

**March 24th 2019, 01:43 am or 01:43,Downtown Motel #31, Room 64**

Ben had booked himself into a motel after driving down to the city. He wasn’t actually going to see his family. No, he couldn’t. He let his family think that he was dead for years. There was no need to tell his family that, surprise! He wasn’t dead. But Ben needed to be in the city for his funeral. Then he could go back Pine Grove. His siblings didn’t need to know the he was alive. He had been “dead” for years. He couldn’t go back and unveil that he was alive. It would just disrupt the precarious balance that his family had. Once the funeral was over, he would go back home to his school, his library and his life.

**March 24th 2019, 08:46 am or 08:46, Musique Cafe**

Vanya was walking out with her coffee. She would be heading to academy as soon as she caught a taxi. Vanya just needed her coffee.And she knew this was the first time that she saw most of her siblings since the book had come out. She stopped on the edge of the sidewalk, and started looking for taxis. And then she saw it. Or rather, him. A man standing on the opposite side of the street, walking out of a bookstore. He was carrying at 5 books and his hair was messed up.. He looked up and made eye contact with her and then scurried down the streets as if he were hiding.The mannerisms reminded her of Ben when he was sneaking around with a book in his blazer. But Ben had died 13 years ago. Vanya was just projecting on some random man that just happened to remind her of Ben. She shook her head and began focusing on calling a taxi to take her back to her childhood home.

…………………………………….

Ben was convinced that God was playing a prank on him. He had seen Vanya just on his way to get his favorite childhood books. God was playing quite the prank on him. He was going to leave this evening and be back in time to teach tomorrow. Ben adjusted the books in his arms. He hadn’t remembered these books being so heavy.

“Mr.Park?” He heard a curious voice behind him. Ben whirled around, looking at the young adult behind him. “I’m Tom. From the class of 2014?” Ben tilted his head, trying to remember his former student.

“I taught Romeo and Juliet that year. You asked Justin to date you at the end of May when you thought I had left. That’s you, right?” Ben asked.

“That’s me! How are you doing Mr.Park?”

“I’m doing fine.” _If Ben ignored all the internal turmoil being here brought back up again._ “How are you doing? Are you and Julian still together?”

“We actually got married a couple of months ago.” Tom said excitedly.

“That’s wonderful!” Ben said, smiling at his student, catching a book that was about to slip off the stack in his arms.

“I have to go to work, but Justin and I will be heading up to the Grove soon. I’ll see you then?” Tom asked, glancing down at his watch.

“Of course I will.” Ben said smiling at him. Tom entered the bookshop and Ben turned around and bumped into Diego. God was definitely playing a prank on him.

“I’m sorry.” Diego said, kneeling down to help Ben pick up his books. Then Diego’s eyes flitted to the tattoo on his left wrist. Ben’s sleeve must have ridden up while carrying the books. Diego looked at him again, studying his face in more detail.

“Ben?”

……………………………….

Diego had been in such a rush that he didn’t see the man. He slammed right into him, causing his books to fall to the ground. He kneeled to the ground, placing the books in his arms, when he noticed the tattoo. It was the same one most of his siblings had and the public never knew about it, so why did this man have it? He looked up at the man’s face and he could see the remnants of the child he could have been.

“Ben?” He asked, his voice trembling.

“Diego.” The man responded curtly.

“How are you alive? Dad said you committed suicide.” Diego asked.

“I ran away.” Ben, _Kind, sweet, snarky_ ** _Ben_** , responded. “I never committed suicide. Dad told you that as a cover story.”

“Are you coming to the funeral?” Diego asked, not expecting to see Ben’s flinch.

“No. I hurt all of you too much. I’m just in town for the mourning. I’m leaving tonight.” Ben said.

“No. Come to the Academy. We all missed you. I don’t care that you were considered dead for several years. It would just be worse if you pushed it off.” Diego said.

“Di…” Diego almost smiled at the sound of his childhood nickname. Ben looked like he was going to reject him, but then he sighed andsaid, “Let me drop these books off.”

**March 24th, 09:13 am or 9:13, The Umbrella Academy**

Ben cowered behind Diego as he walked in, seeing Vanya and Allison talking to each other. Ben just hid behind Diego. He couldn’t do this. He loved his siblings, but he couldn’t deal with their unavoidable anger. Ben had to run away. He would have lost his mind if he didn’t leave.

“Hi Allison. Vanya.” Diego said nodding at the two of them.

“Hey Diego.” Allison said, giving a small wave, then doing a double take staring at the man standing behind Diego. If Allison didn’t know any better, it was a grown up version of Ben.

“Who’s that with you?” She blurted out, startling the man behindDiego. Diego turned, sighed and whispered something into the stranger’s ear.

“Hi.” The man’s voice was shaky and his hands trembling. Allison blinked, the voice was more weary than she remembered , but it was his voice.

“Ben.” Allison said, her voice shaking. Vanya turned around to face him, and an indescribable emotion crossed her face.

“Allison. Vanya.” Ben said, looking timid. Allison thought she would be angry at Ben, for leaving them, for letting them think he was dead, but seeing Ben, seeing this broken man who looked terrified by just being in this house, Allison could only feel sorrow. She walked towards him, engulfing him in a hug and his arms hesitated before hugging her back.

“I’m sorry.” Ben whispered, tears rolling down his face. Vanya was still staring at Ben and then she started screaming.

“How dare you!” Vanya screamed, causing Ben to cower even more in Allison’s arms and Diego stepped in between Ben and Vanya. There was a clattering on the steps and Allison knew that Klaus and Luther were on their way down.

“Calm down, Vanya.” Diego said frowning, his hands on his knives.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Vanya yelled at Diego, her fists clenched. Klaus and Luther ran into the foyer and startled by Vanya screaming. Honestly heexpected Diego to be screaming at Vanya, not Vanya screaming her lungs out.

“Van-Van, what on Earth is going on?” Klaus asked.

“Ben’s alive and he couldn’t be bothered to tell usfor years! And when I saw him earlier, he couldn’t evenbe bothered to say hello!” Klaus watched as the man in Allison’s arms flinched and curled in on himself even further.

“Vanya,” Klaus said grabbing her arm, “Let’s talk about this somewhere else.” Klaus then proceeded to drag Vanya out of the room. Once he deemed them far enough from the foyer, he turned towards Vanya.

“What were you thinking?” Klaus asked her.

“He faked his death and he returned home. No one knew that he wasn’t dead. Why shouldn’t I be angry?” Vanya snapped back at him.

“You’re allowed to be angry at Ben, but maybe for the love of god, don’t show that anger in front of him right now? He was terrified just to be in the same room with us.“ Klaus almost snapped at his sister and left the room, leaving Vanya to stew in her feelings.

……………………………………..

Luther gaped in shock at the man, _Ben?!?,_ that was sandwiched in his sister’s arms.

“Hi Luther.” Diego said. “Crazy day, isn’t it?”

“Where did you find Ben?” Luther asked, still staring in shock and amazement.

“I bumped into him on my way here. He wasn’t planning on coming here. He was just here for mourning. He would have left tonight, if I hadn’t run into him.”

“Well it’s a good thing that you ran into him then.” Luther said back, surprised by the civil conversation with Diego. The last time they had been this united, was when Ben was still here. Luther turned his head noticing that Klaus had returned to the room, without Vanya.

“He’s really here, isn’t he?” Klaus asked looking over at Allison and Ben’s hug.

“Yeah.” Diego said turning his head to look at Klaus. “Where’s Vanya?”

“I took her to a different room. I understand that she’s angry, but she shouldn’t yell at him right now. At least without knowing the full story. Ben was the one who pursued family the most out of all of us. He wouldn’t have left without a good reason.” Klaus said. “Now, I’m going to steal him from Ally. I want a hug as well.”

Luther watched as a Klaus tapped Ben’s shoulder causing Ben’s face to break out in a small hesitant smile. Klaus engulfed Ben and Allison in his hug and Ben was saying something Luther couldn’t make out. It was good but at least his family was sort of whole. Now all they needed was Five and Dad, two dead people. And no matter what Diego said about Dad’s death, Luther knew something was up.

…………………………………..

Vanya couldn’tbelieve the audacity that Ben had. Did he not know the pain he caused her? Nothing could justify Ben abandoning her. Five was a completely different story, he just vanished. At least he didn’t fake his death and disappear. Vanya didn’t care what Ben was feeling. He left the Academy. He didn’t deserve to be here. Ben should leave. Vanya nodded her head. Ben wasn’t a part of her family anymore. And if the others failed to see that, well Vanya would make them choose. Ben didn’t deserve to be here with her family.

………………………………………………

Klaus just beamed with happiness. He didn’t care that Ben had been declared dead by his father previously. Ben was here now, in his and Allison’s arms, warm and alive. It gave him hope for little Five. Ben had been whispering apologies under his breath, until Klaus whispered back that he understood. Before Klaus had gotten out of this hell hole, he had resorted to alcohol and drugs to get rid of the ghosts. After Ben had “died”, Klaus wanted to get clean. He couldn’t summon Ben when he first “Died” and Klaus wanted to see his brother at least one last time. If Ben showed up when Klaus was high, Four would never ever forgive himself. So he stayed clean for years and eventually discovered how to banish the ghosts, getting rid of his primary need for drugs. Klaus worked in a coffee shop with his boyfriend Dave, most of the time and getting clean was probably the best thing that ever happened to him. Klaus used his power to banish the ghosts around his siblings which honestly weren’t much. Diego had the most, followed by Luther and Allison. But the thing about Ben was that there was only one ghost. And Klaus hadn’t vanished any of the ghosts around Ben, but Ben had the highest Kill count. (Something Ben wasn’t proud of ) But the odd thing about this ghost was that he was around 13 in age. Klaus didn’t remember Ben ever killing a child. Making a mental note, Klaus would speak to this ghost later. But now it was time for hugs.

………………………………………………………

Ben had eventually fell asleep in their (Klaus, Luther, Allison and Diego) arms, exhausted. Luther insisted on carrying Ben to the couch where he could sleep on the living room. Ben’s room had been boarded up since he died, and it would take a while before they could the room in living conditions. There was 13 years worth of dust in Ben’s room. Mom would have to do a lot of work to get his room clean. They had just put him down on the sofa, when the child ghost started speaking.

“Number Four? Klaus right?” The ghost asked When Klaus nodded, the ghost began talking with a desperate edge.

“So your father is a jerk and forced Ben to kill me. He kidnapped me off the streets and forced Ben to use his tentacles to kill me. It was his breaking point. He ran away and got his GED and went to college and now he’s an English Teacher. He never really coped with what happened and jammed in a small corner of his brain. He also has the most adorable cat named Mittens. On his bad days he’ll avoid that cat, so he most likely had to kill animals when he was young. If Ben had stayed in the academy, he mostly likely would have committed suicide. He’s also depressed, and scared of being here. And tell Ben that I don’t blame him.”

Klaus looked at Ben draped across the couch and his siblings surrounding him and whispered, “Where are all his ghosts?”

“The ghosts follow the others around because they’re angry at them. With Ben, none of us could ever be angry with him. It’s hard to when your killer is a child curled up in his bed sobbing.” The ghost said. Suddenly Klaus heard loud footsteps echoing throughout the house, most likely where he had talked to Vanya, heading towards them. Klaus tensed, not wanting Vanya to wake up Ben. But then suddenly, thunder rattled that building, shutting off the power in the mansion. It appeared to have awoken Ben because he was pushing himself up.

"What’s going on?” Ben asked, his voice raspy.

“I don’t know. We’re going out to find out.” Allison said. Ben pushed himself off the sofa, clearly intending to join them.

“I’m sorry.” Ben said again. Klaus clearly saw that he regretted leaving but if what the ghost said was true, then Ben would have actually tried to kill himself. Running away was the only way Ben could save himself, just like drugging himself was the only way he could survive. Like how Vanya used her violin and Diego used the police and later vigilante work. Like Luther would need to learn and Allison needed to work towards.

“Hey, it’s all water under the bridge Benerino. I’m just happy that you are here.” Klaus said as they walked outside. Klaus walked away from him, saying he needed to grab something.

“What is it?” Vanya asked, staring at the hole with distaste.

“Don’t get too close!” Allison shouted, tugging back Luther and unconsciously Diego did the same to Ben.

“Looks like some sort of temporal anomaly. Either that or a miniature black hole. One of the Two.” Luther yelled.

“There’s a pretty big difference between those!” Diego shouted back. At least he wasn’t trying to antagonize Luther, but Ben could bet that was only because he was here.

A face had appeared in the blue glowing thing and now Luther and Diego were attempting to shield the rest of them. Which was nice but honestly in this situation, Ben would be more likely to save all of them. If the rest of them knew what Ben was capable of they would hate him. As Ben watched, a body appeared and fell to the ground, the world returning to normal.

“Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is it just me?” Klaus asked as they all gathered around the kid. The kid looked at his body in shock and then cursed.

**March 24th, 11:57 am or 11:57, The Umbrella Academy**

Ben couldn’t believe it. Five was alive. Suddenly, he was glad that Diego dragged him home. He could almost avoid Vanya’s angry looks because seeing Five was worth it. Ben could see why Diego dragged him home. It was worth facing his childhood trauma for. Now as the siblings split, only planning to meet at sundown for the memorial. Vanya left, Five went upstairs and Luther and Allison were talking. Ben had no idea where Diego had gone.

“Ben?” Klaus asked, startling Ben out of his trance.

“Klaus.” Ben responded.

“Why did you leave?” He asked, gently.

And Suddenly Ben was THERE. In the stupid basement of this house, killing that boy again. That’s all he could see and hear. The tentacles ripping the boy apart. The boy’s screams. God, Ben didn’t even know his name. The metallic scent of blood. How he looked at the knife that was stashed under his bed. Ben couldn’t live with himself. He just killed a child. Ben killed a child. He was a murderer. The tentacles agreed with him. Ben often saw a reluctancy with the tentacles when they had to kill people. After Ben had left the academy, he promised he wouldn’t kill anyone unless it was self-defense and never if there was another option. Ben was a killer. A murderer. Why was he here? His siblings would hate him.

“-hear me? You need to breathe in and out Ben.” Klaus’s voice was warbling in his head, threading in between his thoughts. Ben focused on Klaus’s voice. Inhale, hold, Exhale. Ben just focused on his breathing and the sound of Klaus’s voice. The feeling of the hardwood under his hands. Ben opened his eyes, looked at Klaus and burst into tears. Klaus embraced him, not caring that Ben’s tears were getting on his blazer.

“I’m sorry.” Ben said as soon as he felt that he was able to. Honestly Ben wasn’t apologizing enough. He had abandoned his family and didn’t talk to them for years. He was an awful person. He-

“You don’t need to apologize. It happens to the best of us.” Klaus said, clutching Ben harder to his chest. When Ben didn’t respond, Klaus sighed and started talking.

“When I have these, I go to the mausoleum that dad used to lock me up in. Their screaming haunted me for days. Drove me to drugs until, well until Dear old Dad told us you died. Went sober after that. God, Dad messed up all so much. I’m surprised that Luther and Diego haven’t started fighting with each other.”

“Dad was a jerk.” Ben said sniffling. “I had to kill someone.”

“He doesn’t blame you.” Klaus said softly.

“What?” Ben asked, looking at Klaus, his eyes red and puffy.

“The kid you killed. He doesn’t blame you.”

“How do you know that?”

“His ghost follows you around. And I don’t blame you for leaving. You did it to survive, Ben. I would rather you be alive than your ghost following me around.”

…………………………………………………

Luther nearly gasped in shock, giving away his position. Luther could surprisingly could move quietly for being so muscular and tall. Dad had Ben kill a child. In no universe was that ok. Father was not nice. He might have treated Luther the best out of all them, but he clearly didn’t treat his sibling the same. And now Luther wondered, did dad really need to send him to moon. No that was pointless, he sent Dad reports every day. But clearly Dad didn’t care about Ben. But was the four years he spent on the moon actually useful. He could have wasted four years of his life. God, what if he actually did. His siblings always told him get out. He never listened to them but clearly they were on to something because Dad was a jerk. No one would force a child to kill another child, let alone so violently. Dad was wrong. He was WRONG.

**March 24th, 6:30 pm or 18:30, The Umbrella Academy**

It shocked Allison when Luther didn’t say anything against Diego’s monologue against their dad. He just frowned in silence. She saw Ben say something to Five who was standing next to him, and Five smiling back and relaxing. She had never seen Five so relaxed since he came back. He was just tense. Ben was alive. He wasn’t dead, buried in the ground. And he looked healthy. Allison wouldn’t use the word happy but that could just be the circumstances. The memorial ended without much fuss and they all headed in as a sort of cohesive unit. When they all had settled in the kitchen, Ben cleared his throat.

“I have to go back home.” Ben said and surprisingly did not flinch when 5 out of 6 of his siblings raised his voice in protest.

“I have a job and I can’t just cancel. I’ll be back on Friday night, I just need to attend work.” Ben said once everyonehad calmed down.

“But Dad just died.” Luther said in protest. “Wouldn’t they give you time off?”

“No one knows that I’m the Horror and I’d like to keep it that way. I’ll be fine. It’s only 5 days.” Ben said.

“What do you even do?” Vanya asked, not looking directly at Ben.

“I’m an English teacher in a High School near Albany.” Ben responded, clasping his hands. “I can’t miss work, so I am going.”

“So, I missed work for one day. Why can’t you?” Vanya asked, missing the winces of her siblings.

“I can’t. I was expecting to leave tonight and I didn’t ask for days off and if I can be there, I will be.” Ben said, staring down Vanya.

“Ok.” Vanya conceded.

“I’ll be back Friday night, ok guys?” Ben said, picking up his coat. Ben tensed when he felt arms around his neck and relaxed when he realized it was Klaus.

“You better come back, Ben or I’ll find you myself.” Klaus said and then Diego joined the hug expressing similar sentiments. Allison and Luther soon followed and Five made quick addition before leaving, muttering something about coffee.Ben smiled and walked out of the academy.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos!!
> 
> Visit my [Tumblr](https://auroranights.tumblr.com)!


End file.
